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No hidden fees, no hidden rates, our time is YOUR money.

NO Collection - NO FEE (excluding one-time fee options listed below)

***We are the only active agency that will put your small-time debtor ex-acquaintances on a sustainable payment plan!***

OUR RATES:

SERVICE PRICE/FEE Doubts?
     
consultation (private) €0/$0/£0 NONE!
consultation (public) €5/$5/NA  
one-time email to your debtor sent from your email address 3% of debt  
one-time email to your debtor sent from our email address $1.50/€1/£.80  
indefinite action until debt is collected- or you don't pay! 25% of debt  
indefinite action until debt is collected- or you don't pay! and we NEVER look you in the eye 35% debt collected  
use of our patented confession-cubbie and ski-mask system 45% of total debt  
sms sent using REEPIE algorithm 10€/12$/9£  
personal visit by a human to your debtor at their place of business 35% of debt collected  
debt is not in currency but in an object with abstract value 10% of projected value of object in the year 2050 (after adjusted for inflation)  
intangible idea or intellectual property you want back to its rightful owner 25% basic rules apply even for intellectual property  
WE deal predominantly with financial systems, and unfortunately do not have any humans on board to repossess your automobile from any credit institution! SORRY!  
     

SPECIALS:

   
a "quickie", half an email from our weakest server €.50 $.65 £.40  
a "fullbie", our feature full length email plus a cup of coffee €3 $4 £2  
"bad customer": we collect on YOU -€100s  
extra fees over violence quota: see fee chart  
sleep one hour in confession cubbie €15 (eur only!)  
we make a one-way TV commercial especially for your debtor starring YOU! (Green screen fees included!) €10 (can be taken off the top)  
we make a one-way TV commercial especially for your debtor starring YOU! (Green screen fees included!) naming birthplace, SS#, mother's maiden name and email hints of debtor €22  
     
     

TERMS AND CONDITIONS